I'm at a bar, slightly before noon, mostly because they have free wireless. Also, because I want a coffee, and they have nice chairs and a nice view, and there's really no one here. But it's open, at noon. Mostly because they aren't just a watering hole - they serve food, etc. So I go up to the bar and I order a coffee, and the lady is like "We aren't really a coffee bar."
Oh, really? Are you not? Because this is a bar, and you serve coffee - I can tell because you have what's probably a £1500 machine behind you that spits out FUCKING COFFEE. And also, because I'm holding a menu that has like eight different types of coffee to order.
Now, right after she says this, she gives pauses, gives me an admonishing look: and then she starts making my coffee. I know this isn't that she's pissed that I'm taking up space without ordering much. First of all, I don't think she's capable of thinking that far ahead; second of all, there are people sitting around drinking glasses of free water, and nothing else.
So I say, "I know... its just nicer in here, a lot of the cafes are crowded around now."
"Yes, but its not really a coffee bar."
Bitch, shut the hell up and make my godamned coffee. I really do not give a shit what your business model is. You serve coffee. This is how it works: I ask for the coffee, you shut your hole and go make it, we exchange currency, and I never see you again. It's very simple.
Fuck you, you're not a coffee bar, I'm drinking your fucking coffee right now.
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